"Happy Birthday to me
Happy Birthday to me"
I find it pretty sad to sing a birthday song to myself. Hahaha. Today is my birthday, my 16th birthday. The day the horrible me was created. The day my parents luck started going downhill because of the introduction of me into this world.
Today wasn't bad. But it wasn't good either. Just meh ~~ but I guess meh is good enough for me. I still remember on Thursday night I was crying my eyes out because of this. I don't want to sound conceited or self centered. But I was really unhappy because no one seemed to care. Not that they didn't buy me the most expensive present or anything. But the fact that when I talked to her on Skype, she....didn't care about what Annie asked her. It didn't take the next Sherlock Holmes to figure out that Annie was preparing a present for me along with the others. But the fact that she pushed it off because she busy doing her Eco assignment, the fact that she didn't want to call Annie because she wasn't bothered. How am I meant to feel? As well as the fact that no one remember what Annie asked of them. Hahaha what am I meant to feel? All I felt was....disappointment....and possibly pain. I just ran straight into the toilet and took a shower. In the shower - I cried.
Another one of those times when I couldn't stop. The muscles in my face just scrunched up pushing the tears out. Each time I tried to straighten my face, it would just scrunch up again. The thought that my 'friends' didn't care....didn't bother. I know it's just a birthday and there's nothing big about it....but I thought they would care. I thought that...I would be really happy.
But like people say, the greater the expectation, the greater the disappointment. I am never going to expect ANYTHING from them. NEVER AGAIN!
It's funny because last year, she was also the reason why I was unhappy on my birthday. It's just that after all this time and I have not learnt my lesson. It's funny how no matter what gifts they give me (if they do) it doesn't really account for anything. Yes, people may chip in huge amounts of money for me....but what's the point when they are just physical gifts? What's the point when they "can't be bothered" and "don't have the time" to stop and care about me? What's the point when I'm going to be receiving the presents with a thorn in my heart? What's the point when I'm not happy?
On the other hand, let's end this 'meh~' birthday with my birthday wishes
- I want to fall in love;
- Do well in school;
- For the people around me to be happy;
Let's hope that it isn't too much to ask for. But no matter how much I don't believe superstitions, myths and legends...I always believe in wishes and promises. I believe that when you make a wish on a special day, it will come true if it isn't too much to ask for. Today I didn't get the chance to make a wish in front of a cake. But I hope that my wishes will come true if I post it in a place where I can release all my true emotions without fear of being judged. I just wish I can fall in love, do well in school and the people around me to be happy. I wish....please come true for me.
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