finally

I finally understood how it felt. When I looked into the mirror, I looked pathetic. Tears were flowing helplessly down my face and whilst I was trying to catch my breath, my mouth kept choking on the same statement "I'm fine...it's okay...."

I'm glad you finally realised. But I've moved on from that stage ages ago. I'm happy now - way happier than those days where I felt disconnected and lonely. Now I've moved to another place where I feel happy because I meet people who share the same interest with me and allows me to feel finally part of something and I really don't want to be dragged back to that living hell.

But then, I doubt anyone is going to understand. All they will see are the tears of her. That's why when he called, I didn't even bother explaining. I'd rather keep it all inside because ... inside is where is it the safest.

edit/
I'm unhappy. I'M REALLY UNHAPPY! I REALLY NEED A SHOULDER OR PILLOW TO CRY ON! TODAY WAS JUST ANOTHER REMINDER THAT...don't worry. I'll just cry it out later :D

I wonder if he heard my sobbing ~~ but I doubt it. All he had in his mind was probably the tears of hers. When do I ever matter?