people like me

Just had a really long conversation with Sylvana. She's still indecisive whether she should confess to Adrian. I don't know what to tell her because on one side, Sarah likes Adrian but on the other side, Sylvana likes Adrian. So it's kind of like a decision between boyfriend or friend? According to personal experience, I could only tell her that boyfriends tend to treat you better than a friend. Which contrary to what many people think, it is true. Well in my case it was. But even though I haven't really liked anyone, I can emapthise with Sylvana and understand the waves of different emotions she is going through. I mean, confessing -- that takes a lot of courage and is something I would definitely NOT do.

But like, I guess it's a whole different story for girls like her. She's skinny, funny, dopey, cute. But for people like me...it feels like when I like someone it would only bring embarrassment for that person. And confessing -- that would be a joke. That's why I like to hide my feelings and thoughts from other people because, it would only be a source of laughter for them. Sometimes I even think that people like me don't really have the right to even have the slightest contact with a person from the opposite gender. Girls like her can talk to guys freely and without fear that they would be judged but that is different for me. Even when within a certain distance of a guy, I feel scared. It's like...I shouldn't be there, I don't have the right to be there, it would only be an embarrassment for them and I should run away as soon as possible. But I guess that's how it is for people like me.