formal

Today (or yesterday since its already 1:40AM) I had my Year 10 Formal. It was better than I expected. Beforehand I wanted to go because everyone looked so pretty when they were trying on their dresses. However, the more I looked at my dress, the more insecure I felt. Everyone looked so beautiful and I looked hideous. I was really scared and insecure.

But but but, during the night, there was not a single moment I felt unhappy about how I looked. I had the craziest night in my entire life. When Shock and other korean songs were playing I was just crazy. I have never let myself go like that infront of people. Everybody looked absolutely gorgeous and I had one of the best nights ever.

When I arrived back to Vanessa's house afterwards, she asked me, did any guy tell me I was pretty tonight. I told her not that I remember but secretly, there were -- maybe they didn't mean it, but they actually bothered to say it to make me feel better. First one was Eric and the second one was Shanje.

Eric had always been the one guy who could make me feel good about myself. Although he usually says it as a joke, it numbs my insecurities for a while. I took two pictures with him tonight and will be two of the most memorable images of my entire life :)

As for Shanje, when we ran into him and the other guys whilst finding the destination, he walked with me and we talked about random things -- which I forgot because all the loud music and hardcore dancing has just scraped everything away. Then three quarters of the way through the night, Annie, him and I had a conversation outside because the music was too loud. He was playing around holding my hand and telling me that he loved me which was something I hadn't really experienced before. He also told me that he really liked the dress I was wearing and then Annie added because it showed certain parts (cough cough cleavage cough cough) which made it really awkward so I walked away. Towards the end of the night, I was really tired so I just sat down and stared at people dancing. Usually, people would just walk past without noticing me but he actually walked over and talked to me. Haha, he allowed me to experience so many things for the first time in one night. I only took one photo with him which was really bad because it was really dark. Out of the guys, I really wanted to take a photo with him...but I guess I didn't have the chance to because he was hardcore dancing with his uber sexy and unique moves.

Sylvana also confessed to Adrian. The results sort of turned out to be what I expected but it was really painful to see her just smiling afterwards. She was so high that it kind of seemed like she was trying to hide her sadness and pain.

But, tonight was a really really really really awesome night and I was really glad that I went. It was an extremely enjoyable and memorable night and one of the few times in my entire life that I actually felt good throughout the whole time -- thank you everything for making that possible :D