disappear

Today I went to have a little drink with him and we talked a little. He was telling me jokes when we were walking.

"How much does a Chinese restaurant weigh?" -- one tonne (won ton)

He ordered a latte and a salad whilst I ordered just a cup of drink. I didn't really feel like eating because number one, it was really expensive and number two, I didn't really feel like eating. He had a little talk with Eugenia yesterday, and afterwards her expression wasn't that good so I was expecting the bad today. After he finished eating, he started saying that sometimes you have to learn to let things go. I was sort of expecting what was to come. But then, he told me he decided to stay. I literally jumped up. It was... I was just so so so so happy! We then went into the depressing talk but he lightened it up, saying that his wallet was empty. Of course I knew he was lying so I played along and told him I didn't bring money. In the end, he ended up paying for me which I was really against. I decided to pay him back on Thursday or something.

He then walked me to the station. He wouldn't walk me down the stairs, such a douchbag. When I reached the bottom I turned back to wave to him and as I entered the station, I turned back and he wasn't there. I looked around for any signs of his head or something but I didn't see anything. At that moment I was really scared. I don't know why. He already told me that he decided to stay but that feeling I got was really weird. I was scared. I was scared that one day he would just disappear like that on me. The sky was really gray at that moment, and I was just frantically searching for any signs of his presence. It was that bittersweet feeling. I was happy that he decided to stay, but when I remembered how painful his expressions when he was talking about Kelly and the baby, the sour drink I was drinking turned even more sour.