insa

I don't want to lose him. I don't want to lose someone who I actually felt comfortable with. I don't want to lose someone whom actually cares about me - someone who makes an effort to maintain a conversation with me and remind me that he would be there as a friend for me.

When he told me what happened in his life, I didn't really believe it. How could I believe? He was also this funny, high and happy person, someone that could just lighten up the atmosphere just with his presence. How could I believe that this was all an act. That moment he said that he was hiding his pain with his highness, that moment I saw him tearing up just killed me. All I could do was cry. I hated myself at that moment. As a friend, I failed to realise all the pain he had to bear. The death of his friend, his baby...I couldn't tell him I understood him because I don't but I just wanted to hug him and tell him that we as friends, will always be there for you.

He said he was going to move to Melbourne. I didn't want him to go but seeing this ... vulnerable side of him, I realised that I couldn't be so selfish. Just because I didn't want to lose him doesn't give me the right the tell him to stay in Sydney where all these horrible memories will scar him. Eugenia told me that running away does not necessarily mean you would be happier but I knew, if I was in his position, I would too. At least running away from it will numb the pain for a while. I told him that no matter what his final decision is, as a friend, I will respect and support him. He may be staying, he may be leaving. But in ten years time, I would be able to call him and say "Hey mum, remember that DBSK poster you still owe me?"

He is really someone I treasure. It has made me realise that people are really not whom they appear to be. It has also made me realise that people do come and go, and sometimes, you can't really do anything about it.