formal dress

Today I went Formal Dress Shopping with my friends and let's just say it didn't turn out too well. Okay, so I try to feel good about myself. I convinced myself that I would find something that would fit me and look nice. So it started out well. The first dress I tried on fitted me but I didn't really like the design. Then afterwards, each dress I tried on didn't fit. My breasts were too big and the dress kept getting stuck around that area. I couldn't zip it and they did not highlight the curves but rather, the layers of fat.

"it doesn't hurt to try another one"

Let's just say it does hurt. Each time I try another one and it doesn't fit, it only reminds me of my size. I don't know why I'm like this. I want to be skinny too, I mean who wouldn't want to be. I hate being fat. I hate it when I hear people say the word 'fat' when I'm near them. I hate it when...on the train...I hear people talking about my size. That moment when I was trying to the take off the dress and it getting stuck only reminds me how much of an embarrassment I am. I try to feel good about myself, I try to not think about these things and be happy for what I have.... but I can't. Each day of my life, there are some things that act as reminders for me. These thing are just there to remind me that nobody likes fat people...